Anger Good Or Bad

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You can't manage anger if you can't understand it. First of all you must understand that anger isn't wrong or bad, but it is a defense mechanism. It lets you and other know that something is wrong, that somebody is hurting you in a way or another.

Anger can become dangerous when it is expressed in an unhealthy way, like when you think you get power because of anger, making everybody scared of you. This makes you think that you have power because of your anger.

But if you think a little, you will find out that anger is affecting everything in your life, like your friends, your romances, your family relationships, your social standing, your work and your studies. In this moment anger management comes into play, and by reading this you've made the first steps into maturity and power.

By realizing that you are an angry person is the best way to deal this problem. Admit you are angry, knowing that this feeling is there to protect you. You have to deal with it in a mature way, not in a childish way, like screaming, shouting and being violent. These things don't help you at all, even if they make you feel better.

To have a good anger management you have to stop thinking in the moment that you realize your anger is rising. If you are asking yourself why, then the answer is simple. Your thoughts and your past memories make you angrier. When you get angry you will rememorize events in your life, like the moment you lost a sport event, or when somebody made you nervous, and you will become angrier. Then your thoughts become feeding your anger and will make those memories you relive more and more distorted, and you will become even angrier.

Every time you will get angry, anger will make you see things much worse than they really are. In that moment you have to cut the power of your thoughts and stop thinking, so that you can keep your head clear. When you stop the thoughts, anger management is successful and the anger dies soon after you've done that, because there is nothing to feed the anger. You will probably think that you wouldn't be able to stop your thoughts. Standard anger management practices teach you to replace you negative thoughts with positive ones. They suggest you to tell yourself, whenever you are angry, to calm down or to take it easy. By repeating these words in your head, your anger will die. Of course when you think you are going mad because of your anger, it might be very hard to remember to say these words.

What works with most of the angry people is taking some deep breaths. You have to concentrate as you air goes through your nose and reaches your lungs. Do this for a few minutes, and you will see that anger management is there for you. By concentrating on how you breathe, your mind is distracted and so the angry thoughts disappear. Also if you can, do these things outside, while you go for a walk or sit on a bench.

Once you have calmed down, you have regained control of your body and thoughts, and you are once again the one that is powerful. Think of a mature way in which you can solve the problem that made you angry, and try to find the best solution possible. The best way to find a solution is to go to the person that made you angry, tell him or her the truth and show respect in the same time. This is the first step you have to do, and after that you will see that anger management helped you a lot.